Monday, July 6, 2009

THE SO-CLAMORED-FOR TALE - THE TROUBLE WITH DOGS IN CARS

Oh, the humanity! We bolted to the car. I don’t really know why we felt we had to run, it was just a reflex really. Well we got there and the windows, that we should have been able to see through, were all steamed up. It was not a good sign.

Jaco was inside and we could hear the poor boy whimpering like he thought he was going to get in big trouble. Oh it still gives me those little internal retches to think about it, and this happened like over two decades ago!

I’ll just come out and say it frankly: the dog had spewed diarrhea all over the Shelby’s interior. He had apparently jumped into the back seat as well as the front seat attempting to find another way out of his little prison, so there was no place inside the car that escaped trauma.

I swear, Jaco, I really meant to be gone for only 30 seconds!

The odor was just gag-awful and someone came back out of the bar with a great big package of bar napkins for us and a wastebasket. Well there was a lot of laughter in the Speakeasy’s parking lot that night, let me tell ya! Oh yeah they could chuckle, but they weren’t coming within 20 feet of us. Eddie and I must have been there for hours wiping up soggy doggy-doo with bar napkins just so we could tolerate it enough to operate the vehicle. Yeah, now it was nothing more than a vehicle. That was such a hideous mess! I kept asking Eddie what he fed Jaco. Well, the Shelby Charger was no longer my sports car; this event, while very small on the global perspective, it just shattered me and my entire life’s paradigm shifted.

And you know what, I didn’t get even a single one of my friends’ phone numbers that night to show for my foolish efforts to get back in touch. It cost me $340.00 to have the interior detailed to the point where it could be driven again. Right before I transferred to a new duty station, I traded it in on another car. No. No, as a matter of fact, I did NOT tell the dealership what that funny “new car smell” was about.

J.P.T.

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